Headlines : 2nd June, Friday

A typical day in Chennai. It was so hot that it made me wonder why I am still working in a company where I have to compulsorily wear a damn tie at work.

On to the big news of the day. Rahul Mahajan has been hospitalised following a serious case of food poisoning. Police are suspecting foul play. They are looking at suspects – any possible enemies, money disputes, mentally unstable or shady characters – and all of this just within the Mahajan family : – ))

Consider this. Rahul was a late night party when he got food poisoned. I hope he was having a good time there. I mean, its not as if his father was brutally shot dead just a few weeks back by his uncle, who is now spending time in jail. With everything going so perfectly with the family, what better time to be partying than now?

Politics. Our Prime Minister has personally explained to President Kalam the compelling reason why he should immediately sign the ‘Office of Profit’ bill. The reason is – Coz Sonia said so.

The Kashmir Tourism board is worried that the constant terrorist activity may affect their business. Naah…….they are just over-reacting. Would a tourist be really bothered if the two buses ahead of him suddenly exploded killing all passengers in an instant? Not at all. No way. Happens all the time……..

Students applying to the
Delhi University are not confident of getting a seat even with 90 % marks and above. But this has nothing to do with the quota system. They got scared after they meet hundreds of students from Bihar with 135 % marks and above from their board exams !!!!! How can they compete with these Biharis…….. : -))))

Rahul Dravid is unsure of the team composition before the first Test against the
West Indies. He is not sure whether to pick 2 pacers and 2 spinners or pick 4 Caribbean dancers from the spectators instead. The cheer-girls are clearly better looking than our bowlers and that could tilt the decision in their favour, he said.

The
US troops in Iraq are being given a Ethical training course. This became necessary after a US Marine innocently asked a BBC reporter – ” Wow…….is it true that shooting a pregnant woman for fun is actually considered “wrong” in some cultures?”

A Japanese scientist has worked hard and digitally re-created the voice of Mona Lisa using voice simulators. Not surprisingly, the first words that Mona Lisa spoke were -”I hate
China and all Chinese are bastards. And yes, I am smiling because I got a manicure……….there ends the speculation. “

A miracle three-armed baby has been born in
China. Amazing, isn’t it? Even more amazingly, Wal-Mart has already placed bulk orders with the Chinese Govt. for 300 more of these babies to be delivered in the next 6 months.

Scientists in
Israel have discovered 8 new species living in an underground cave. The bad news: Within 15 minutes of the discovery, 5 of the species are already on the endangered list and the other 3 have been taken by Steve Irwin to use as crocodile feed.

There is a new political party in
Holland that is trying to get the legal age for kids to have sex reduced from 16 to 12 !!!! It looks as if Demi Moore can finally have sex with Ashton Kutcher if they can move to Dutchland.

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