Editorial Column : 4th June, 2006 On the French Open

I was watching the French Open yesterday. The first match on was Maria Sharapova versus Dinara Safina.Third round.

After a couple of points, I realised something. Namely, that the audience in a tennis match consists of people with the lowest self respect you can find. Think about it….they pay huge amounts of money to come watch and then get insulted by a guy sitting on a ridiculously high chair.He keeps asking you to shut up and keep quiet before every point.Its like-‘Silence please.Shhhh….quiet everybody…..shhh’.Aren’t the spectators done with this at school? We all paid good money to go to school…and our teacher kept sushhhh-ing us.I thought once you are out of school, you wouldnt want to be subject to that ever again.’Rafael Nadal? no thanks….I am more than happy to watch him on TV’.

And its not as if the same rule applies for the players too.You would know that if you watched this match. The two of them were screaming from deep within after every shot.Primal screams.Real loud.Its almost like they want to rub it into the audience. Look you guys…we can make all the noise we want…Aaaahhhhh…..Oooohhhhhh…..you guys meanwhile sit like Egyptian mummies, ok?

Incidentally, Sharapova lost the match. Technically, it is called an upset defeat. Its fairly obvious why they call it that. Sharapova looked pretty upset after the match alright.But this is only when a Sharapova loses.Not when an unseeded player gets defeated.Thats becasue only the big players get upset on losing a match. The others are supposed to be like – ‘Its no big deal….I dont mind losing…I now get more time to look around Paris. I am NOT upset!!!!’

Speaking of Safina, did you know that she is the sister of Marat Safin? Yep, the name similarity is no coincidence.Its basically the same name.Safin.Safina. I dont understand one thing about her mom. She obviously spent more than 10 months lugging little Safina in her tummy.What a patient excercise !! But when it came to naming the child, she apparently thought it was too much effort.’What did we name the boy?…. Safin?… Okay, then put this one down as…..as…..Safina….yeah Safina is fine.Can I go to sleep now?’

After the match, have you noticed the players signing their autograph on the TV lens? I have never understood why they do that…..you know, cause its obviously a nuisance to the camera guy.He now has ink marks all over his lens.Got to wipe it clean before the next game. On the other hand, there are all these fans desperate for an autograph…they are waving their hands, shouting Maria’s name, trying to get her attention, over here -over here….but what does she do? She picks and chooses the one guy who couldnt care less and ‘there you go mate, I have scribbled all over your valuable electronic equipment.Happy?’….

After a tough match the players just want to go the locker room and take a pee….and these fans are begging them to scribble on some piece of paper …so they would be like ‘ let me do this and get the hell out of here’. Thats another odd thing. In normal life, if someone scribbled carelessly on something, I wouldnt make a big deal of it.Then how come its suddenly valuable if Sharapova does it? She doesnt care for you…she isnt taking her time signing her name…some random motion on the surface of the paper and suddenly you are like ‘Woo-hoo….i got it, i got it’. But once you go home, the sobering effect starts coming in. Can you imagine how silly you would feel while telling your grand children about this? They would be like – ‘ So…some Russian girl made this wavy markings 40 years back and you kept it in your safe all these years? Hehehehe……and you buried Grandma.But preserved this….bad bad grandpa !!!”.



  1. Look at all team games like football or cricket, fans are really footloose there. On the other hand badminton, tennis, tt all need to have mute audiences!!! Can players not concentrate when they are alone or are in pairs instead of dozens??


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