Headlines : 12th June, Monday

Another hot day in Chennai. People were sweating like Roger Federer on hearing the words ‘ top spin’.

Today is the World Day against Child Labour day. Yeah, its a day when we are all encouraged to prevent little children from doing other things when they should be studying. Seizing the moment, Roger Federer has lodged a request with the ATP Tour organisers to send Nadal back to school ASAP.

Hear this. The Government is now providing school kids in Rajasthan with nail-cutters. It says that most children in the state dont have access to a nail-cutter. In that case, how about providing them some water first ??? Hellloooo……its Rajasthan….a damn desert…. I dont think the kids would mind the long nails as long as they can have drinking water for the next two days.

Its happened again. The Nepal king has been stripped of more powers. As if he had anything left. The poor guy. I dont understand why they the Nepal Parliament wants to do this. Its like asking M. Karunanidhi to have a castration. Whats the point anyway?

India is planning to buy more than 120 MIG fighter planes next year. Thats because there is lot of empty space in our Air bases for new planes. The previous batch of MIGs is almost entirely parking in some paddy field or the other.

As a protest, a man in Gujrat tried to set himself on fire in a theatre screening ‘Fanaa’. Thankfully he was saved – since at current prices, he could only afford to buy half a liter of petrol……………

More bizaare news. Lalu Prasad Yadav could be the Chairperson for a new course in IIM -B on Railway finance. Wow………for a change, a person with low intelligence could be inside IIM – B without even using the Quota system……..

In the morning, I was driving to office and I saw a stray dog using a cellphone to recieve alerts on dog catchers in the area.

Its official. We have 100 million people using cellphones in this country !! Hundred million……….no joke. The worrying part : More than half these people are busily engaged in sending SMS messages to Sun Music.

The US have shot and killed Al Zarqawi, one of the most wanted terrorist leaders of the Al Qaeda. George Bush is really happy with this piece of news. And he is even more happy with the news that Dick Cheney had nothing to with the shooting whatsoever.

Reviews for ‘Pudupettai’ are in. Its all bad news. Danush has been targetted specially. Critics say that ‘he can hardly handle a gun for someone playing a don. He is often involved in scenes with mindless shooting and violence. Overall, he hardly seems suited to play the role given to him’ ………….Oops……sorry………that was about Dick Cheney , not Danush…………… it was from the FBI’s special report…..sorry. Got confused.

Steel maker Arcelor has rejected Laxmi Mittal’s improved bid to take over the company. He just cant believe it. The last time Laxmi Mittal gave someone this much money, Shah Rukh Khan agreed to clean his boots and dance at his daughter’s wedding.

The Best Bakery debacle. The Court has today sentenced Zaheera Sheikh, the prime witness in the Best Bakery case, to three months rigorous imprisonment (RI) for giving false evidence. Apparently, she told the Judge that she saw Salman Khan eat a sandwich at the bakery with his top on.

The following articles by Srivats 🙂

Chandramukhi is to inaugarate the IIFA in Dubai. ” Enna Kuduma idhu Saravanan”.

Did you guys just check out the opening ceremony of the world cup. I dont know about you guys but I quickly switched to watch “Vayalum Vazhvum”.

India’s only presence in the FIFA world cup ( apart from its map in the cup and it gets worse every year , last year we atleast had a a line man from chennai ) are eight software engineers maintain the communication network in all the stadiums. What a pity, considering Equador whose population is one fifth of dharavi managed to defeat an European major Poland.

England has issued an warning to people that temperatures may soar to 31 C. Quite a pity considering the only warning we got during our college where temperature often soared above 50C was when the thar on the road metled and stuck to our shoes.

The following articles by Vishwa 🙂

Pravin Joshi’s self immolation against screening of Fanaa has become a burning issue. Sources say karunanidhi has handpicked this pyro-dude for DMK’s self immolation arsenal for future use. BTW did he use petrol? Some say it would then be a death fancier and costlier than to be burnt on sandal wood pyre.

Rakhi sawant has shot to fame taking Emran Hashmi’s route. But she calls it molestation!!! That is why she remains a mere vamp. The worst part; the video was like some non-kamal tamil movie; blurred the people in the background to show some flowers forcibly bent and banged against each other. Damn it, a big loss for bollywoodmasala.com viewers.

Only after they announcing cash rewards for killing militants has BJP understood that militants don’t have uniforms, govt. quarters, military rum and sex scandal involving top militants or crashing MiG flights. Then how would one identify a militant? Since many militants hole up in mosques while holding fire, BJP plans to call people going to mosque as militants and demolish all the mosques in Kashmir.

News – India Army has developed an equipment to produce potable water form thin air. It is unfair. Corporation of Chennai did not receive such publicity for converting water into thin air. Every corporation pipe is an outlet of superheated air & sewer steam.

Govt. decides to resend the Office of profit bill, unaltered. The moral paragons of India; the legislators, will hope to pass The Impunity bill (any offense by legislator is not punishable ), Partition India bill (Every resource of India to be disbursed among the legislators) India Monarchy bill (India to be converted into Monarchy under Nehru family, legislators -advisory ) during the monsoon session. Each of these bills, which is no more the making the status quo permanent, is expected to be passed unanimously. What? U think such bills wont pass?

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4 comments

  1. Actually, I never said no one reads the blog. I said no one bothers to leave a comment…..there’s a big difference between the two statements, isnt it? 🙂

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