Headlines : 13th June, Tuesday

A decidedly cooler day in Chennai. It was so pleasant that Jayalalitha even smiled once at Karunanidhi in the Assembly today.

Wow……all those flying tackles, the free kicks, the headers, the rivalries, the whistles, the hooligans – yeah, yeah…..it’s another typical day at the TN Assembly. And the Soccer World Cup is underway too, btw.

Bad news for the old man today. A man tried to stab his son M.K. Stalin at a railway station in Madurai but was stopped in time. Turns out the man was just frustrated on still being a care-of-platform in spite of the DMK promising everyone free land during the elections.

A special court is now going to take up the Mahajan case. Thats good, youknow. Its not like we have other important cases to deal with. A drug-addict fainting at a late night party 3 weeks after this father’smurder is clearly a priority for the country, isnt it?

Its funny but the BJP is actually claiming that Rahul Mahajan is being victimised by the Congress. How absurd is that? Its not like the Congress bought him two tickets for the late night bash and then stuffed his pockets with cocaine and heroin as a bonus. To me, its like saying the Selectors are to blame for Ganguly not being able to play the short ball…………(hope the analogy is ok)

Speaking of drugs, the Police are yet to ascertain the amount of drugs that Rahul Mahajan had with him that day. Oh my god !! It seems the police started counting the packets mentally at first but soon realised that even Shakuntala Devi would be stymied by the calculations involved. They have now asked for additional personnel to help them out with the inventory assessment.

Hey kids! If you are in Delhi and want to take your new bike around for a safe ride in the roads, today is a good day. All truck drivers in the city are going to be involved in protests against the petrol price hike.

A survey in the US has revealed that crime rates have taken the first big jump since 1991. Violent crimes, murders, shootings are all up last year by more than 5 percent………………….and this is not even counting Dick Cheney’s hunting trips !!!

Al Qaeda have already identified a replacement for Al Zarqawi who was killed recently. They say the replacement is a brutal, merciless man who has no problem shooting and killing enemies all day long. Hey…………..I dint know that Pravin Mahajan has been released from jail !!!

Surjit Singh Barnala has been appointed the Governor of TN again. So whats the big deal ? I dont think anyone really cares about this, you know. In fact, even Barnala did not show up today for the swearing-in ceremony.

Time for a George Bush quote.
Here’s the latest one about the situation in Iraq – “The future of Iraq depends on Iraqis”.
And then he wonders why people make fun of him all the time : – ))))

Amitabh Bachan is apparently getting frequent visits from the Income Tax Dept. these days. He hasn’t filed in his returns properly. No such problems for son Abhishek though. No hit films – no income – no tax. He is safe alright.

The following articles by Srivats : – )

Miss Curvy Curvature’s Rakhi Sawant’s lips still hurts its seems. Last time a kiss made this much controversy was when Kamal kissed Rani in Hey Ram. Poor guy Mika claims that he wanted to whisper in her ear and accidentally went and bit her lips. It make you wonder whether this is the reason why his brother Daler closes his ear with a turban.

I know Saniar Mirza drinks Sprite when she is thirsty, I know she like to drive into the middle of Rann of Kutch in her blazing red Hyundai Getz to play a tennis match and give a lift to her opponent on her way back , I know that she gets inspired by crying babies and wins her matches to return and kiss the bald head of the baby but I dont know whether her backand is single handed or double handed.

AnbuMani Ramadoss planning a silicon – Valley kind of zone in Calcutta ( Dont worry its not inside Pamela Anderson ). Its like NYSE in red square.

The following articles by Vishwa :- )

Cambridge International Academy of India in Karjat, Maharashtra, plans to unveil a life-size statue of Princess Diana. They chose Diana over Rani Laxmi Bai because the latter was never popular through sex scandal. Coincidentally, ornithologists have observed the local crows grow happier on the announcement of statue unveiling.

The lone Hindu temple in Lahore has been demolished. It is expected that Advani would call Pakistan a secular state any time soon.

“The killing of non- Kashmiri laborers is inhuman” says Jammu and Kashmir’s PDP. Wonder what they would call if Kashmiri laborers were killed. “Yet Another day in Kashmir”?

Bush says he does not believe Zarqawi’s death means end of war. He is said to have forgotten why US started the war at the first place. Saddam Hussain has been busted, Sadadam’s sons & Zarqawi killed, oil resources have been acquired hence all apparent reasons exhausted. Bush, Dick and Rice still feel there was something else as reason.

Bush calls US and India to be “natural allies”. Talking over phone to PM, Bush said “You always do whatever Sonia tells you, and I always do whatever Condoleezza tells me”… How sweet. I am sure Condy would have been the one who taught him that line.

Stalin escapes bid on life as a CRPF policeman stopped some local dude (carrying a knife) from reaching Stalin. The policeman, was new to Madurai hence doesn’t know “veecharuva” in Madurai is a fashion accessory and that Stalin isn’t worth assassinating.


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