Headlines : 19th June, Monday

Yesterday, as usual, Norah Jones neatly packed and FedEx-ed away another one of her Grammy award trophies. Or, as Pandit Ravi Shankar calls it, Father’s Day.

(This way, Ravi Shankar now has three Grammys. Still a million less than his daughter, apparently).

Footballer Ronaldo bought his father 2 boxes of Swiss chocolates. He then got tempted and opened the boxes and finished them off himself.

Eminem gave his dad the usual……the middle finger.

Kavya Vishwananthan made her dad a collage of photos that they had taken together – from her childhood. Using scissors and glue. So sweet and personal, isn’t it? Of course, it was too easy. “Cut and Paste” is her thing afterall…………..

Speaking of Kavya. You know I still can’t get over the word she used to describe all the plagiarism in her book – ‘Internalisation’. That’s the one. ‘Internalising’. It is weird because that is something you expect BillClinton to be doing. Not Kavya ……….but Clinton.

This is my favourite. Rakhi Sawant and the kissing incident. Rakhi has accused singer Mika of treating her like an object and molesting her. (Instead of treating her like a woman. A lady even. ) What the hell? Rakhi dear, you call yourself an ‘Item girl’ for heaven’s sakes !!!!…..an ITEM girl………and what is an Item but an Object you can use……I am with Mika on this one……..he is blameless.

Family men in Gujrat are worried about the rising cost of rent. Not their house rent. No no. This is the rent you pay to borrow your neighbour’s wife for a month. Its nearly 8000 rupees now. At this rate, men can’t even afford such basic comforts anymore.

The Salman Khan blackbuck case is in the news again. I am thinking his court case is similar to that of Pravin Mahajan. Like…..Pravin shot someone dear who was a close relative while Salman shot a deer that was relatively close.

Here is something I came across on CNN-IBN today. I have been given to understand that singer Jessica Simpson prefers keeping her eyes open during a lip lock. Thank goodness I was told about this. Will be on full alert for this factor the next time I kiss her…..

What on earth is Rajdeep Sardesai thinking publishing this kind of stuff on his channel’s site? Does this even qualify as News, whichever way you define it? Is this what he meant when he said he would do ‘whatever it takes’ to get the news to us? Does he really think we care more for such things than say, the Quota issue? If so, he’s got it spot on. Bring it on, buddy.

Germany has asked all European nations to disarm themselves, especially the nuclear weapons. How sad is that? Its about time the Germans start accepting that the last time anyone listened to them was when they had a short, dorky leader with a funny moustache who kept invading countries left, right and center in the early 40’s.

To show the Germans how much no one cares, Montenegro bought two bags of Uranium from Iran today.

Angelina Jolie has confessed that giving birth to her baby was a ‘terrifying’ experience. Am sure she must have now realised the merits of her previous policy of accumulating kids – Adoption. That way she can avoid the “giving birth” part which is clearly not a joyride.

It has come to light that the Al Qaeda had plans in 2003 to carry out a chemical attack on the New York City subway system. You know, pollute the air with toxic chemicals that would render it unfit for human consumption. But they had to abandon the plan. Someone had already beaten them to it. The people of NY : – )))

The following articles by Srivats 🙂

Indian Idol finalist Neha Kakkar was declared dead by TV and some papers. Dont worry dude, it happened to a man called Bose for 27 times.

Let there be light says Sonia Gandhi. But isn’t that God’s dialogue ?

Average age of the France team is around 36, thats without Zidane. With him included, it becomes 41.

Some guy bought a painting for 123 million dollars. If I had that kind of money, I would have bought Playboy instead if an old lady’s painting. Sigh!!

Pamela Anderson Lee is all set to pose naked for PETA fund raiser. Loving animals is one thing, being one is totally different.

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8 comments

  1. Vetti guy, you are getting better at this tongue in cheek style of humor at the cost of the daily headlines by the day!!

    As for good ol’ Billy, don’t you mean he’s good at ‘internaliaising’ 😀

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  2. Good ones again!!But why pick on Ronaldo all the time – Spare him atleast here:)And Srivats – grow up da – for that kind of money – u get the women you see in pictures – to pose right in front of you:)Which one do you prefer?Pick the more tangible option I say!!

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  3. @ The Chosen One….hehe. Clinton and interns – an evergreen topic to joke about.

    @Shyam….Ronaldo has been spared today 🙂

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  4. @ Ze Zombie….I thought he was being quite logical there 😉

    @Boston….dei, its the usual type of saathal only. Feel free to publicise it if you want to 🙂

    Like

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