Headlines : 26th June, Monday

It was another hot day in the North. People were sweating like the Dutch players seeing the referee reach for his pocket.

In the World Cup, Holland has been knocked out by Portugal after the referee sent off 4 players and showed more than 20 yellow cards!!!. 20, no less. I swear, the last time I saw so many cards, David Blaine was doing his thing, harassing people on the streets.

Today the Chairman of the Wimbledon organizing committee had a mild heart attack. What happened was some prankster sneaked up behind him and shouted “Rain!!!”

That’s right. It’s Wimbledon from today people. It’s a unique event. Where else on earth do people pay hundreds of pounds to go somewhere and sit and watch the rain all day long??

The president of East Timor has resigned. Wow…..I am surprised that this even made it to the news……president of East Timor…..I am thinking that if the president of the Chennai Rotary Club retired, it would be a bigger news than this.

Mittal finally has got what he wanted with the Arcelor deal. At a cost of 34 Billion dollars!!!!!. Coincidentally, that is the exact amount Amitabh Bachan owes the Govt. in terms of unpaid taxes all these years.

The success of the deal has gone into Mittal’s head apparently. Today, while speaking to the press, he popped a couple of potatoes into his mouth and said in a low tone – “I made them an offer they couldn’t refuse………now Arcelor is part of ……The Family”.

The LTTE have rejected Sri Lankan President Mahinda Rajapakse’s offer of a direct peace deal. I understand that they are actually demanding 34 Billion dollars. Mittal has obviously not set a good example for negotiators everywhere.

You know what’s ironic about Salman Khan and the LTTE situation?
The Tigers are killing humans while Salman is killing all the deer.

Writers Arundhati Roy and Vikram Seth have been issued notices by a local Madhya Pradesh court for allegedly encroaching on a tribal’s land. Well well well. This is not the first time this year that an Indian writer has gotten into trouble for encroaching into someone else’s (intellectual) property.

Saddam Hussein believes that the US will beg for his help do deal with Iraq. Maybe Saddam has forgotten his current situation. The only thing he can offer the US right now is suggestions on how best they can execute him – by hanging or the electric chair.

Vice president Dick Cheney has said that pulling out of Iraq now would be the worst possible thing the US could do…..the worst……since….. Going into Iraq 2 years ago, of course.

And when Dick Cheney talks about the worst possible thing someone could do, he knows what he is talking about. Trust me 🙂

This is stunning. Warren Buffet, the world’s second richest man, has decided to give away most of his wealth away in charity. Brace yourself for this……he is going to give it to none other than Bill Gates. That’s right. Bill Gates. Millions of homeless and destitute people in Somalia are going – “As long as it is to someone deserving…….”
(Jokes apart, he is actually giving it to the Gates Foundation, which is the world’s largest philanthropic organization. So it’s great.)

A survey has revealed that Moscow is the priciest city in the world. Seems it costs 20 roubles to get a pair of socks and 100 roubles to get a smile from someone.

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