Headlines : 3rd July, Monday

It’s been raining really hard in the North. Especially in Bombay. It was so bad that Krrish had his raincoat on while chasing villains across the city.

Even Salman Khan felt there were too many people with wet shirts on the roads.

Amitabh Bachan meanwhile had a lot of fun making paper boats out of his IT notices and floating them on the streets.

What’s the difference between the Sensex and NASA’s space shuttle ‘Discover’?
The Sensex is on its way up this week in spite of the heavy rains.

This is funny. Millions of dollars in research, and thousands of scientists- and still NASA has to defer the launch of its shuttle due to rainy conditions. Unbelievable. Is this 1965? This sounds like something NASA would have told Neil Armstrong, you know……..’Sorry dude, its raining outside……..how about we wait for a few days before you make your trip………where are you going again? ………the moon, right……..ok”.

You know what’s the best-selling book in Vidarbha right now?
‘101 Ways to Commit Suicide’.

Thats right. More than 600 poor farmers in Vidarbha district have commited suicide in recent times !!!!. Until the headcount reached 600, the government was relaxed, you know. 600 was the cut-off level. Upto this point, the Govt. just assumed it was all a big coincidence : – )))

The PM’s relief package for Vidarbha is around 3,500 Crores. But the BJP feels it is not satisfactory or good enough. In it’s defense, the government could have allotted at least 100 Crores more had the Big B paid his taxes on time.

Did you know that Saddam Hussein’s wife and daughter are on the US’s most wanted list? When he heard it, Clinton was like – “Hey, they are on my most wanted list too………….. They are in the top 10, in fact “.

George Bush is turning 60 this week. Oh yes, 60 years of age. A landmark for him. His age is now greater than his IQ.

In fact, he was so pleased that he told the press – “Go ahead guys, call me an octogenarian if you want to”.

More ridiculous scenes in our courts. A donkey was brought to court by an NGO as part of a protest rally. But the sad part. Salman Khan mistakenly assumed it was a deer and shot it when in court for his hearing.

Did you read about the bear that has escaped twice from its steel cage before it could be neutered by doctors? Well………if T Rajendar wants to have more children, I don’t think its our business to try and stop him, right?

The following articles by Vishwa 🙂

Mobile phones attract lightning , if not babes to gadget gurus. That is why hutch is planning to change the color to white, and plans to use “conductivity” instead of “connectivity” as a performance parameter. The ad may now portray Benjamin Franklin following the user everywhere.

Last time I heard of Indian’s very own super hero was when the movie Hanuman was released. Now they say Hrithik stars as India’s own super hero. Do you think he will look cute with the tail? But there is really a true man with tail!!! Reports indicate girls are going “fida” over him.

More than 600 farmers had committed suicide in Maharashtra and only now has govt. stepped in to help them. The economist that our PM is, confused the rise in death toll with sensex and was quoted saying “our economy is prosperous in this Bull Run, we will use all the money to help poor farmers”. Don’t blame him that is what Sonia had asked him to say.

The following articles by Boston 🙂

Mumbai has become prey to heavy rains once more. The Dabbawaalahs were concerned at their drop in service levels and reduction of efficiency by .001%. They hope for an increase in rainfall and clogged drain lines to change their mode of transport from railways to waterways.

Tamilnadu government is working fast on a new Jail complex with state of the art facilities as a replacement for Central Jail. The politbureau is confident to draw a significant number of criminals to become active in the state to make use of the facilities. Mr. Manmohan singh has thanked Sonia Gandhi for the developments and congratulated Mr. Karunanidhi for his initiatives to make TN the centre of (crime) attraction.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s