Headlines : 8th July, Saturday

A couple of sharks swimming in the Sea of Japan have achieved something that George Bush and the US army have failed to in the last 2 years.
They actually found some Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD) floating alongside them while doing their daily laps.

That’s right. North Korea has test fired 7 long range ballistic missiles in the last 2 days. But they all failed midway and landed in the Sea of Japan. Hmm…….several long range missiles fired…….all failed and misdirected………..sounds like Roberto Carlos’ and Brazil’s story in the World Cup doesn’t it?

Everyone’s worried that North Korea has nuclear weapons. The UN is preparing its response. It is sending a team of 5 International delegates to NorthKorea. They are expected to return back 2 days later when the North Korean President laughs in their face and asks them to go eat pudding. As usual.

You know what’s common to singer Madonna and the UN?
They are both international bodies that no one listens to anymore.

North Korea is actually threatening the US with a nuclear war. How ironic would it be if they attacked America right now with most of the US troops busy in Iraq raping and shooting local Muslim women?

Back to India. The IITs have screwed up their admission process. Nearly 4,000 students are likely to lose the seats promised to them due to some technical software hitch. The quota system is not even begun and 4,000 are on the losing end already……not a good sign…..

I guess IIT stands for ‘Institute for Incompetent Technology’.

After the court decision to stay Venugopal’s dismissal, the doctors promptly ended their strike and abandoned their protests. Wow……we have so many strikers who know how do get the job done……ever wonder why we don’t all that well in football?

I think AIIMS stands for ‘Always Involved In Monthly Strikes’.

Rumours are that Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has quit office over the UPA government’s volte-face on disinvestment with the NLC. I think this is childish. Why does he have to bring in the concept of principles each time into the decision making process? If he is going to behave like this for every politically based move, he could fast become an embarrassment to all politicians in the country…..

The PMO has officially denied the rumours. “They are all false reports. Absolutely not true. All is well with the PM and the Congress”…………..which probably means the rumours are cent percent spot on!!!!!

Lalu Yadav may soon be in the curriculum in Harvard due to his work as the Railway Minister. Well………if you thought Kavya ruined India’s reputation at Harvard, just wait for a Lalu to make his mark…..


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