Headlines : 28th July, Friday

Today, Manmohan Singh had a bad scare. He woke up in the morning and was shocked to find a boy and 2 drunken air-hostesses sharing the bed with him.

That’s right. This is the big news right now. A boy and 2 girls driving a car managed to get into the PM’s residence following some shoddy work by the security guards outside. Forget the Mumbai railways, how about having better security for the Prime Minister of our country first?

The three youngsters later explained to the police that all they wanted to do was meet the Prime Minister and discuss some issues. How stupid are they? If they wanted to meet the PM, what were they doing at Manmohan’s residence? Sonia Gandhi’s house was all the way across the street.

Consider this. How de-motivating must this be for the Lashkar-e-Taiba? They take all the trouble of planning for months to assassinate the PM when all they had to do was turn up drunk in a car and request for an unscheduled appointment. They must be kicking themselves.

On top of this, President Abdul Kalam is going to be visiting J&K in the next two days. I don’t want to be pessimistic but if our security services are going to be as ineffective as this, we might as well declare Monday a national holiday and start the mourning process rightaway.

The Indo-US nuclear deal agreement. LK Advani has made a statement that the deal is not in India’s interests. This confirms it. The deal is definitely in India’s (read Congress’) interests and therefore against BJP’s interests.

Another shocking scandal. Tour De France winner Floyd Landis has failed a drugs today and may be stripped of his medal. Wait…………Let me correct myself. This is NOT at all shocking. Totally normal. A Tour deFrance winner without drug abuse? What would happen to the great tradition?

When asked about this, Landis’ request to the press was – ‘I would like to be assumed innocent until proven guilty’. (He will be taking another test next week). I am sorry dude, but that’s not how it works in the Tour de France. Here, you are assumed guilty until proven innocent.

The Al Qaeda have released a tape warning that they will not stand by idly and watch the Israelis bomb Lebanon. Of course not. The poor guys are feeling left out. All these missiles and rockets and bombings……..its all too tempting for the Al Qaeda…….they want a piece of the action too……..this is their thing!!!!

American Idol winner Taylor Hicks will be meeting with President Bush at the White House tomorrow. Hmmm………is this is what Bush needs right now? Hanging around guys who have a higher approval rating than him? (Hicks got more than 40 million votes during the final episode of the show).

This shows that writers often say stupid things. Famous author Paolo Coelho of ‘The Alchemist’ fame has come out and said that football and events like the World Cup will re-unite the world again. Really? I don’t know if he was living in some other planet, but I have two words for him – Zizou. Head-butting.

Big heat wave in California right now. It was so hot in the day that Jay Leno actually taped the Tonight Show during the night for once.

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5 comments

  1. :))))
    i know you’re totally ‘unbiased’ in your reporting of national and international news events, but let’s leave poor dear ole (this is true) APJ outta things…he’s probably the only somewhat decent element in our wonderful democratic govt!

    Like

  2. oh btw…newsflash..the airhead airhostesses weren’t drunk it seems…wonder if the breath analyzer tests were conducted before or after the police interrogation…poora nasha must have uthrofied by then!

    Like

  3. I like APJ too…..I dint say anything bad about him, did i?

    and when did i say that i was unbiased in reporting events or news? 🙂

    Like

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