Headlines : 9th August, Wednesday

The big news first. Dada Ganguly has been named in the list of 30 probables for India’s upcoming series. He celebrated it by drinking a can of Coca Cola and calling Dean Jones a racist pig.

That’s right. Commentator Dean Jones has been sacked after he called cricketer Hashim Amla ‘a terrorist’. His logic was that Amla was a Muslim. And he had a beard. That makes him a terrorist. Hey! He could work in our Foreign Affairs ministry……he is starting to sound like them anyway (talking about Pakistan).

Total chaos in the Lok Sabha the last two days. It’s over the rotten Jaswant-mole episode and arguments over who leaked the Pathak report to the press ahead of schedule. I don’t mind these little antics of theirs since they have already ensured that the terrorists responsible for the Mumbai blasts are all behind bars……..

Actually, forget finding those who did the Mumbai blasts. We can’t even find out who leaked the Pathak report to the press !!!.

In fact, the Lok Sabha speaker has sent an e-mail to all 545 members pleading for their co-operation in running the parliament smoothly. Great. Now, all that is left is to go to each ministers’ house and teach them what a PC is and how to operate one.

Suspended Foreign Affairs minister Natwar Singh has called Manmohan ‘ weak, indecisive, cowardly and spineless’. Isn’t this typical of a politician? Mouthing clichés all the time………saying stuff everyone knows already and trying to pass it off as exclusive knowledge………typical…..just typical !!

Natwar has also said that he is already looking at life beyond the Congress. I mean, being a politician is not the ONLY way you can make money through bribes………..there are so many other ways, which he is willing to explore.

Floyd Landis has vowed to fight to the limit with the authorities to clear his name of the drug abuse charges. In fact, he has already taken an injection of testosterone to help him with that and is all set for the battle……

Even after the test results showed that he had a high level of synthetic testosterone in his blood, Landis is arguing that they were naturally produced by his body. How courageous is that?……..the only people I would expect to naturally produce synthetic hormones in their bodies are Cher and Pamela Anderson.

Today, they did a drug test on Israel’s Cabinet ministers and the results showed that they all had high levels of testosterone in their bodies. No wonder the idiots have approved an even broader ground offensive on Lebanon.

Science is now on the verge of discovering the secrets of invisibility. Big deal. If you want the secret, just ask the UN Secretary-general Kofi Annan. The Israeli’s hardly seem to notice his presence if you ask me.

You know Shah Rukh Khan? I don’t know why, but sometimes people call him arrogant and vain………..why would they say that about him? Even when speaking about ‘ Kabhi Alvida na Kehna’ , Shah Rukh has only said that he is ‘fantastically sexy’ in the movie…….nothing off the top.

It was Raksha Bandhan today. A nightmarish day for guys with women trying to become their sisters and all that. Even Mika was sick of seeing so many Rakhis…….

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