Headlines : 11th August, Friday

A cloudy day in Chennai. Very cloudy. Not a single star to be seen. Unless, of course, you were sitting at the premiere of Karan Johar’s latest film at Sathyam Cinemas.

That’s right. ‘Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna’ is getting released today. Karan Johar has apparently taken a few risks in this movie and dealt with some unconventional themes. Risk? Risk??……….the film’s cast includes Shah Rukh Khan, Amitabh Bachan, Abhishek Bachan, Priety Zinta, Rani Mukherjee, Kajol, Arjun Rampal, Kirron Kher………Hmmm….if THIS is a risk, then I want to know how he plays it safe.

The London airport crackdown. I think the only people disappointed with the whole thing must be CNN, BBC, NDTV……can you imagine it? 20 planes…..exploding……every News channels dream……they could have played the gory images over and over again for years……poor guys.

Not only did the London police avert the disaster, but within 24 hours, they have identified around 20 suspects and frozen their monetary assets. Onto Mumbai. Our guys let the terrorists have all the blasts they wanted and after a month have arrested 2 guys just because they were Muslims. You can draw your own conclusions here……

The terrorists were apparently using liquid weapons that got past security checks. What liquid weapons? All they had were a few cans of Pepsi in their hand-luggage.

Speaking of which. Pepsi and Coke in their defense point out that a lot of the rice, eggs and apples sold at retail locations contain more pesticides than the soft drinks. Gee…..suddenly I wish I were an alcoholic……I mean, what’s the point in being a teetotaler anymore? Health reasons?

The US has warned India that the Al Qaeda is now planning some attacks on us. In response, the government has dismissed the issue as totally innocuous and downplayed the threat. Sure, we don’t need any help from anyone…….we KNOW how to take care of ourselves from terrorists……..bring ‘em on !!

The PM is going to have an aerial visit of the flood hit areas in Maharashtra. Can someone explain to me how a guy flying in a helicopter and waving at the people below is going to help their sorry situation any? It just makes them feel worse. It’s almost like Manmohan is pointing out that they are all wet while he is high and dry in his state funded transport vehicle.

The Bill Gates Foundation has pledged $500 million for global AIDS research. Wow……….So, if you are a sex maniac intent on having sex with a lot of people without proper protection – GO RIGHT AHEAD. We apparently have your back covered :- )

A gem of a quote from Bush to finish. ‘The US is at war with Islamic fascists’ he points out to everyone. It’s taken him 10 years more than everyone to realize this…..but I am glad he is catching up with rest of the world, albeit at his own pace.

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