A knock-knock joke to start with.
The Sun: Knock Knock
Pluto: Who’s there?
The Sun: Not you anymore….
That’s right. Astronomers at the International Astronomical Union have decided that Pluto is no longer considered a planet under the new guidelines. As per the new guidelines, it needed to at least bigger in size than Pamela Anderson’s boobs to be considered a planet. Pluto just missed the cut apparently……
I am just so sad for Pluto, you know. It’s so unfair. If these stupid astronomers want to DO something, then could tell us how the Universe began or what the hell these black holes are……but No. They don’t have the brains to do any of that……so they indulge in these interstellar downsizing initiatives…..losers…..
When he heard this, George Bush was quite surprised. ‘Pluto was a planet?’ – he asked Cheney. ‘And what about the Sun?……….don’t tell me it’s been given the boot too……’
Meanwhile, the medicos and medical students are back at it again in India. It’s the anti-quota protests. You know what this means…….they are in the mood to have another vacation.
It is now believed that the ball-tampering row could split the entire cricketing world into two factions. That’s right, the ENTIRE cricketing world…..all 8 countries….. (Do I hear the soccer fans rotfl somewhere??….hehehehehe)
And the umpire in the middle of all this, Darell Hair, says that soon a lot of people will pay for their actions. No, he is not referring to the Pakistani’s who tampered with the ball. He is referring to all the people who wrote these ‘Hair’-based headlines. You know, ‘A Hairy affair’, ‘A Hair-raising day’, ‘A bad Hair day for the Pakistani’s’ and so on. Frankly, even I am sick of these puns already……
This shows how innocent our PM Manmohan Singh really is. He told the Lok Sabha that he had a personal assurance from George Bush that India’s interests would not be compromised with the Indo-US nuclear pact. Yeah sure. Here are some of Bush’s other assurances: ‘We will find those WMD in Iraq for sure’ and ‘The US govt. will do everything to help the victims of Hurricane Katrina’……..
The Union Cabinet has decided today that the state of Uttaranchal is to be renamed Uttarakhand. And not a moment too soon, if you ask me. In an unrelated piece of news, the terrorists who orchestrated the Mumbai blasts are now planning their next assignment in Delhi.
12 Indians, traveling by a US airliner and have been arrested in The Netherlands, and charged with disruption of flight. Apparently, they threw the Pepsi bottles served to them back at the air hostesses while singing ‘Vande Mataram’ rather loudly in a chorus.
And, yeah…..we finally have an answer to the question that’s been bothering us all these months…….’Vettayudu Vilayadu’ is definitely releasing before Windows Vista.