20th September, Wednesday : Top Ten List # 5

Back with another Top 10 list today.

The topic under consideration is the recent demotion of Pluto from the status of a ‘Planet’ to its current classification as ‘Tennis ball’. The move was approved after a voting session involving over 400 astronomers at the meeting of the International Astronomical Union (IAU) in Prague. As per the new definition of a planet, Pluto does not meet the required criteria and has been relegated to being a mere ‘Dwarf planet’. That is the official version. I think the real reasons are quite different.

So here goes.

The list is written in reverse order starting with Number 10 and finishing with the Number 1….

The Top 10 reasons why I think Pluto was really demoted from its status of being a Planet-

10. Pluto was too funny a name for a planet.

9. According to Vaasthu Shastra, the Solar System should not have more than 8 planets.

8. It was caught flirting with the Sun from the next galaxy.

7. It was smaller in size than Roger Federer’s girlfriend.

6. As per posthumously revealed papers, it was Carl Sagan’s dying wish.

5. It has been identified as one of the conspirators in the ’93 Mumbai blasts trial.

4. It takes so long to complete a revolution around the Sun that even Stephen Hawking felt it was taking too much time moving around.

3. The new “definition” of a planet was created by the same guys who worked on the Office of Profit bill.

2. It failed a routine doping test after astronomers found extremely high levels of testosterone on its surface.

1. It refused to sing ‘Vande Mataram’ on Sep 7th like everybody else.

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