Headlines : January 31, 2008

The Hitchhiker’s Guide gave us the meaning of human life – 42. Chicken sellers in Bihar have given us the value of human life – 1 kg of onions.

That’s right. Chicken sellers in Bihar have adopted a novel strategy to beat the bird flu scare and boost their dropping sales by giving a kilo of onions free with every kilo of chicken. THEY HAD TAKERS.

And I thought no one could embarrass himself more in public than being seen in a Nano.

Israeli Prime Minister, Ehud Olmert, escaped serious censure last night from Eliyahu Winograd, a retired judge who led a government inquiry over his mis-handling of the war in Lebanon. Turns out the BCCI had forced the judge’s hand by threatening to walk out of the tour of Australia if the charges against Olmert were not dropped.

The Judge in charge of the Harbhajan hearing confirmed that Tendulkar’s positive word about his team mate counted in his decision to clear Harbhajan of racial abuse. Finally an endorsement from Sachin where he made no money whatsoever.

But an angry Ricky Ponting sharply criticized the lifting of three-Test ban on Harbhajan Singh. He even went on to call the Judge a ‘mindless monkey’.

Addressing an issue that has blighted race relations in the country for years, the Australian government says it will apologize for past mistreatment of Australia’s Aboriginal minority. They intend to start with Andrew Symonds.

Novelist Taslima Nasrin was reportedly hospitalized when doctors at the AIIMS wrongly prescribed a heavy dose of pills as treatment for blood pressure. Today, Britney Spears checked herself into the clinic citing a headache. Fishy!

The Govt has allocated Rs 600 crore to the “Project Tiger” scheme for the conservation and rehabilitation of the endangered species. In stark contrast, the Govt in neighboring Sri Lanka has allotted a similar amount to kill as many Tigers as possible.

Democratic candidate John Edwards has pulled out of the Presidential race. He apparently did not like the fact the costs involved in the campaign forced him to have a haircut like normal people for $20.

Scientists will soon be able to cut men from the process of creating life, enabling women to have children that are biologically their own. So it’s official. There is no basis for Kevin Federline’s existence in the universe anymore.

This has astonished scientists. Satellite pictures from Mercury show geological formations never seen before on the surface of the planet – huge craters, mile-long ridges, weird rock projections…….Or, as Chennai-ites call it – North Usman Road.

Kareena Kapoor put an end to rumors about her secret marriage to Saif Ali Khan saying she wont be getting married for at least another 5 years. To which Saif remarked – “5 years, eh? So it won’t be me paying her the alimony then”.

According to a new study by Canadian scientists, girls with big breasts are prone to diabetes. The study also mentioned that girls with small breasts are prone to dia-virgin.

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