Headlines : 19th December, 2008

The Yuletide spirit is well and alive people. Rick Wagoner got his xmas gift early. His stocking had a cheque for $14 billion.

Bush approved the bailout package for Detroit. Probably his last major decision. Fittingly, he’s thrown more taxpayer billions at a losing cause. No one does it better.

The Obama administration promises to do things very differently. He’ll kick-off his regime by spending a trillion dollars.

The Somalian pirates are getting a huge pay-off too. Close to 20 million. They are holding an entire country to ransom with threats of terrible consequences if their demands are not met. Similar to GM’s business model.

Gov Blagojevich’s approval rating has sunk as low as 7% following the scandal. Here’s my question – why does 7% of the population think he is doing a good job? And, just as importantly, do they still have voting rights?

The very first face transplant operation has been successfully completed in the US. It’s worked out very well too. Bernie Madoff says investors are lining outside his home again with their life savings.

The Madoff fraud. Turns out several Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) employees were watching porn at work instead of doing their job. And now investors have lost billions. Either way, the SEC guys get to watch people getting screwed. Win-win for them.

More ominous signs. The Consumer Price Index (CPI), a key economic indicator, dropped by nearly 2 percent in November! I just don’t get it…dint American consumers just spend $350 billion last month??

Pak President Zardari has again reversed his position on Kasab. He says we still haven’t proved that he is a Paki. Well, the guy is a Muslim, hates India and was caught possessing firearms that he had used recklessly…….wait, that may not do. Salman Khan checks all these boxes too.

India has cancelled its cricket tour to Pakistan next month citing security concerns. Yep, our cricketers are much safer in Mumbai and Delhi. For the record, there hasn’t been a single bombing incident in Mumbai the whole of last week.

It’s also partly a retaliatory gesture from the BCCI and the Govt. Tit for tat types. Hmm…….so they bomb our financial capital, destroy the Taj and kill over 250 civilians and we cancel our cricket tour to their country. Yeah, that’ll teach those b******s.

However, Sri Lanka is going to replace India and tour Pakistan. Well, from their perspective, it doesn’t really matter whether it’s the LTTE or Jaish-e-Mohammad bombing them. Might as well play some cricket.

Aamir Khan’s Ghajini set to release soon. It’s the story about a man with a short-term memory loss who struggles to remember what he said or did the previous day. Kinda like President Zardari.

The riots in Greece. Students forced their way into a news studio and interrupted a broadcast featuring the prime minister to urge viewers to join them in the rebellion. To which, Rakesh Omprakash Mehra quipped – ‘Told you so!!’

Bad month for Al Gore. He was not picked in Obama’s cabinet and the Poland climate talks were a disaster. Now, if only it started snowing in Vegas……

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2 comments

  1. Zardari doesn’t even need to tattoo himself with reminders on what he said (or didn’t). He just has to read a newspaper.

    Maybe we should send all our politicians to Pakistan and show them how to run the country. They’re all resigning left, right and center here anyway. We don’t have any use for them. Might as well go to a place that is so damaged they couldn’t possibly cause any more harm.

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    1. Agreed. And Zardari really needs to stop using the phrase ‘ non-state actors’. With immediate effect. He’s using that as a blanket term to absolve Pakistan of any wrongdoing in all this. But having said that, he is just a puppet figure with the Army / ISI calling all the shots, right? What else can we expect from him.

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