Headlines: 6th January, 2009

Yesterday, India submitted incriminating evidence to Pakistan, dubbed the ‘dossier of information’. They responded along expected lines. With a ‘cluster of clichés’.

India is still urging Pakistan to extradite terrorists working from its soil. To be fair to Pak, they ARE sending terrorists over to India. But just not when we are expecting them.

Manmohan has assured the public that the UPA will be much better prepared to deal with terrorist attacks in the future. For starters, they’ll soon be the Opposition party. That’s step 1.

Jokes apart, the UPA is putting pressure on the State Governments to get tough on terrorism. Going forward, Chief Minister’s will be given no more than 24 hours to resign in the event of an attack.

P.Chidambaram issued a warning to Pakistan that India will take stern action to combat terrorism on its soil. From the next time. This time was OK. But from the next time…

The UPA will be spending 1 Trillion rupees in the next 3 months to boost “internal demand” in the country. Demand for another UPA term, that is. Elections coming up next year.

1 Trillion rupees! The last time the Centre spent that kind of money during an emergency, the Supreme Court and CBI are still working to clean up the mess.

Ahead of the by-elections in Tamil Nadu next week, MK Stalin was caught offering bribes to voters in Tirumangalam. Asked to respond, Stalin said he preferred the term ‘stimulus package’.

What’s with all the ‘stimulus package’ talk these days? Not that it’s a new concept. But back in the days of the Clinton administration, the phrase had an entirely different connotation.

Dhoni and Co. might play a cricket match next week in Tihar Jail, against the inmates of the prison. Yep. The inmates’ team will be represented by the Board of Directors from Satyam Computers.

Here’s something ironic. Dhoni has been the one receiving death threats but he’ll be going to jail before the extortionists do.

This is not the first instance. Many past greats like Kapil Dev, Azharuddin and Ajay Jadeja have played cricket in Tihar jail. For the inmates’ team, I must clarify.

Air India has fired a dozen airhostesses for being over-weight. This was long overdue! I don’t get it though…how does anyone put on weight eating airline food?

To ensure that the hostesses lose weight rapidly, they have been strictly advised to be on the ‘Steve Jobs’ diet.

Steve Jobs missed the Macworld Expo this year citing health reasons. He has been losing weight rapidly over the last year. His doctor got concerned when Jobs started weighing less than the Macbook Air.

Auto sales in the US plunged again in December. GM sales down 31%. Taxpayers paid $15 billion to bail out GM but stubbornly refuse to buy its cars. I’d like to see Alan Greenspan plot the supply and demand curve on this one.

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2 comments

  1. Hey,

    I’ve been following you blog for quite sometime now. Great stuff, I must say. You have your pulse on politics, and you know the wordplay. Great going. You remind me of the kind of jokes Shekhar Suman used to crack in Movers and Shakers (though I don’t know if all of them were his jokes)

    Keep up the good work.

    Hussain

    Like

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