Headlines: 26th January, 2009

Big Republic Day parade today. And a bigger security force of close to 20,000 men. Basically, we had the police protecting the Army, which was showcasing our military might. Ironic, eh? Am just glad we have the moral police around to take care of the rest of the country.

Good news. Doctors attending on Manmohan Singh post-operation said that he is “stable, comfortable and making rapid progress”. On the downside, we never go to say these three things about his tenure as Prime Minister.

The operation went well. Much better than the last bypass operation he was involved in. That ailment was brought about by leaning too much to The Left for 4 years.

RK Panda, a cardiac surgeon with Asian Heart Institute (AHI), led his team of doctors at the operation table. A bunch of outsiders at AIIMS? That should teach the AIIMS for having pushed for the quota system and ‘diluting’ its brand. Or…..was it the UPA??

When asked if Manmohan had been suffering from any stress, Pranab replied – “Some stress must be there. Otherwise, I don’t know why it has happened”. With statements so vague and lacking in investigation, he’s in danger of being mistaken for an auditor from PwC.

M & A news. Pfizer is buying rival drugmaker Wyeth in a $68 billion deal and will immediately follow it up with a bunch of lay-offs to shed the ‘excess fat’ resulting from the merger. This is where all the stockpiles of Lipitor come in handy.

Remember Gov Blagojevich? The one who tried to sell the Senate seat? Even as he got impeached, he compared himself to the likes of Mandela and Gandhi. Sonia Gandhi, I am guessing. She could very well be his role model.

Then again, if terrorists can use ‘Gandhigiri’ as the centerpiece of their political campaigns, why not politicians impeached on corruption and malpractice charges? I do think he’s like Gandhi and Mandela – in that he will be spending a lot of time in jail hereon.

The Padma lists are out. Chairman of the Atomic Energy Commission Anil Kakodkar, and environmentalist Sunderlal Bahuguna were on the list. So was Abhinav Bindra, for being our first Olympic Gold medalist. And Aishwarya Rai. Presumably, for this.

Sister Nirmala, from the Missionaries of Charity also got the nod. The moral of the story – it doesn’t really matter whether you claim Mother Teresa inspires you at a beauty pageant or actually get inspired by her. You get a Padmi Shri either way.

New game in town. Heard of the Kevin Bacon number? This one’s called Six Degrees of Amar Singh – wherein, your chances of winning a Padma Shri go up dramatically if you can be linked to Amar Singh in the least steps possible. The Congress might be corrupt, spineless and ineffective but its nothing if not grateful.

Lets take Aishwarya Rai. She is married to Abhishek. He is the son of Amitabh Bachchan. The Big B is a close friend of Amar Singh. That’s a mere 3 degrees of separation. No surprise she was on the list.

How about Akshay Kumar? He was in Aitraaz, produced by Subhash Ghai. Ghai directed Tina Munim in Karz. Tina is married to Anil Ambani. Anil has all but slept with Amar Singh. Fun game, isn’t it?

Israel’s government will provide legal protection to its military officers if they are accused of war crimes. War crimes? What war? Thousands of Palestinian citizens were slaughtered. Some Hamas militants got caught in the crossfire by mistake. There never was any war.

And don’t be surprised if Ehud Olmert, Israel’s PM gets nominated for a Padma Shri. Wondering how? Well, he is Obama’s pal. Barack appointed Hillary Secretary of State. She is married to Bill Clinton. And Amar Singh is so close to Bill that he’s donated millions of dollars to his charity. That’s 4 degrees. Not bad.

Want to try your hand at some of the other nominees? Harbhajan, Dhoni, Udit Narayan, Helen anyone?

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6 comments

  1. Helen is Salman’s stepmom, Salman is ex-lover of Ash, Ash is daughter-in-law of Amitabh and Amitabh is the lover of Amar Singh! That’s 4 degrees of separation.

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  2. Dhoni and Harbhajan are brand ambassadors for Pepsi, so was Aishwarya Rai at one time.. That’s only 3 degrees! Does that count? I’m sure Udit Narayan was a playback singer to a hero in one of Ash’s movies. Interesting how everything could just be linked to her instead of Amar Singh.

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  3. @Lucas: Not bad dude.

    @Sanjana: Indeed, Ash seems to be common factor as well. But thankfully, she doesn’t have the power (yet) to bring down a govt on her whims and fancies. Also begs the question – why was Abhishek ignored? He is now the only Bachchan without a Padma award to his name. Would have been classier on Amar Singh’s part to have dropped both their names in the hat.

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