Headlines: 5th February, 2009

The old adage still holds. If something sounds too good to be true, then don’t believe what Ratan Tata is saying. Now we need to add the HRD to the list as well.

The 10-dollar laptop that the Department of Human Resources announced yesterday – an utter joke. Its barely a computing device and can hardly perform any useful function. The new Board at Satyam has ordered 500 of these laptops.

It was designed by students of Vellore Institute of Technology, scientists in Indian Institute of Science, Bangalore, IIT-Madras, UGC and HRD. So the best minds in the country worked for months to come up with a bulky 2GB USB stick. How we ever got Chandrayaan to orbit the moon is beyond me.

I mean, its nothing more than an overhyped brick. The only way we can build a better future for our children with them would be to construct housing facilities using these ‘laptops’. In this light, I don’t blame Obama’s ‘Buy American’ clause in the bailout package.

India’s National Security Adviser (NSA) M.K. Narayanan has warned Obama that he would be “barking up the wrong tree” if he subscribes to views linking Kashmir to 26-11. Ouch. Even David Miliband was going –‘Can he say that??’

On the bright side, the NSA wont be embarrassing the UPA anymore with his interviews. You know, its so much harder to speak when you have your foot in your mouth.

The IRS has a new method to track down tax evaders in the US. It’s going to wait for Obama to pick them in his Cabinet. Simple.

Yep. Following Tim Geithner, it’s the turn of Tom Daschle and Nancy Killefer to resign following admissions of tax evasion. Clearly, when Obama talks about offering tax breaks in the stimulus package, he’s talking to his Cabinet members.

Obama openly admitted his mistake with the Tom Daschle nomination. He actually said – ‘ I screwed up’. No wait… that was Kalyan Singh.

Sucking up to Muslims in a heartfelt speech, Kalyan took full moral responsibility for the demolition of Babri Masjid in 1992. He then got so carried away by the emotions of the moment that he broke down in tears. No wait…that was Roger Federer.

Given the extent of Kalyan’s groveling, aimed at the Muslim minorities, can someone tell me why he’s with the Samajwadi Party, and not the Congress??

Tough decisions from Obama. He’s slapped a 500K limit on executive compensation for bailout companies. But the good news – they’ll be compensated with stock options. The bad news – its Citigroup stock.

The Dalai Lama was admitted to Apollo Hospital in Delhi on Monday. He was discharged later once the doctors convinced him that he had NOT been offered the position of Finance Minister in the UPA.

India has signed its first commercial pact with the French nuclear giant Areva to make nuclear reactors. That’s odd. Don’t we have enough nuclear react-ors in the country already? You know, the CPI, the CPI(M), the Revolutionary Socialist Party…..

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