Headlines: 12th February, 2009

The CPI-M has openly asked Kerala CM Achyuthanandan to forget ethical considerations and toe the party line by dropping the corruption case against ex-CM P.Vijayan (also of the CPI-M). Elsewhere, Gandhiji’s personal belongings are going to be auctioned off in NY. As a country, we’re selling out on his principles. No great harm in selling off his specs, watches and sandals too, right?

The unholy nexus between the Congress and SP on the brink of collapse over the Mulayam-CBI investigation. The ramifications are enormous. For starters, Aishwarya Rai’s Padma Shri will be taken away.

According to Amar Singh, the CBI has made at least 288 errors in its report on Mulayam. 288 mistakes?? Poor Mulayam – it must be like reading Satyam’s annual report.

The image of the CBI is supposedly at stake here. What image? It’s nothing more than a perennial source of embarrassment for the country. CBI members can happily wear pink chaddis in public without any impact on its image.

Am sure you’ve read about the Pink Chaddi campaign. It’s got a great response. More than 30,000 members on Facebook alone. Funnily enough, all 40 of Muthalik’s followers will be voting in the coming elections while none of these 30,000 are likely to.

The group claims itself to be ‘A Consortium of Loose Pub-going and Forward Women.’ Incidentally, there is a similar club for men too. Represented by the entire cast of the movie Dev D.

Based on Pakistan’s partial admission on the 26/11 attacks, Chidambaram went on to praise their report as “an exceptional and tightly argued document”. The UPA is big on Muslim appeasement, yes. But to the best of my knowledge, Pakistani Muslims can’t vote in the coming elections.

It’s not just the Congress. Narendra Modi chips in with his comment on Indians being involved in 26/11. LK Advani is campaigning in Pakistani websites. I don’t blame them. At the moment, Hindutva is likely to win the BJP more votes in Pakistan than India.

Hindutva has taken a real beating of late. First it was Col. Purohit and the Malegaon blasts. Then Shiela Dikshit trumping the BJP in Delhi. Followed by the Ram Sena show. Now, if only the RSS came up with a new cola that has cow urine as the main ingredient…

Key quote from the RSS spokesman – “Don’t worry, it won’t smell like urine and will be tasty too”. The argument better known in political circles as ‘the Morarji Desai fallacy’.

Basically, consumers have to pick between drinking pesticides and drinking cow urine. And we thought VS Achyuthanandan had a tough choice to make!

It’s possible that cow dung and urine may have some medicinal properties. But the “output” also depends on the intake. On a diet consisting of plastic bags, Lays chips, broken bottles and dry grass? I don’t think so.

P.Chidambaram now wants to sit and sort out our differences through cordial talks. He wasn’t referring to Pakistan though. This was about the ugly fistfights that erupted between MLA’s in Uttar Pradesh. Not to forget, Andhra Pradesh.

Even our commercial planes are clashing. OK, almost clashing. Two major collisions averted in Mumbai and Guwahati respectively. Small mercies.

Reports indicate that Dawood’s gang has been roped in to kill Ajmal Amir Kasab in jail. And yet, Pranab keeps complaining that Pakistan is not doing enough to get rid of terrorists.

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