Headlines: 16th February, 2009

Here’s how bad the recession is. Americans can’t even work for peanuts these days.

The day started with an elaborate paean in praise of Congress Party President Sonia Gandhiji that lasted a couple of hours. Also known as the Interim Budget.

But the stock market crashed once the interim budget turned out to be a damp squib. What else would you expect from a substitute (Pranab) of a substitute (Manmohan) of a substitute (Chidambaram)? It should have been Manmohan all along.

In his defense, Pranab argued that he did not have the mandate do anything more with the budget. No mandate? Does this mean Prakash Karat is the one we should be blaming?

Pranab termed his interim budget as one for the ‘aam admi’. Unfortunately, for the ‘aam admi’, the government is now the ‘baam admi’.

Did you read about that? A farmer in Rajasthan claims that an Army aircraft bombed his 5 bhiga field and home. No statements from the Army. Guess the IAF’s policy is not to ‘kisaan-and-tell’. Or it’s in a real kisaan jam. Or it doesn’t think it’s that bhig-a deal. Take your pick.

The bombing did not result in any loss of life or property. And that’s not always a good thing. Think about it. The IAF “bombed” an innocent, unsuspecting civilian in broad daylight without causing any damage to him or his property. Aren’t you glad we’ve ruled out military retaliation against Pakistan?

This also explains why we are stocking up on smart bombs. Because the pilots are not. It also begs the question – why this proactive approach in bombing farmers? The Centre’s previous policy of just letting them commit suicide was working well so far.

US Special Envoy Richard Holbrooke in India. His only achievement on this trip is coining the catchy term, ‘Af-Pak’ to describe the disappearing boundary lines between the two countries, as far as terrorists as concerned. In that case, shouldn’t it be ‘Af-Pak-Ind-Bang-Lankistan’?

Poor Holbrooke is faced with the unenviable prospect of deciding which is worse – the Hindutva Talibanisation of India or the Talibani Talibanisation of Pakistan.

Pakistan is signing agreements with the Taliban. Britain is openly imploring militants not to target its people. India is bombing its own citizens. I hate to be the bringer of bad news but it looks like the terrorists, of all people, are winning the war on terror. Since 9/11, the score reads Terrorists 15, Rest-of-the-World 0.

And Sharia law is tough. It’s a theocratic society with extreme restrictions on women and many aspects of day-to-day life like politics, business, sexuality etc. Kinda like Vasundara Raje and Rajasthan for the last 4 years under the reign of Lalit Modi (also known as Profit Mohammad).

Modi is now threatening to take IPL away from Jaipur if the cases against him are not dropped. First, Mangalore took over as India’s ‘pink city’. And now, Modi is threatening to leave the place. Finally, the tide is turning for the citizens of Jaipur…..

LK Advani is getting an IIM student as an intern in his election team. Why not? There are no investment banks in Wall Street anymore to reward self-indulgence and incompetence with obscene salaries. Indian politics is the next best thing.

The Iron Maiden concert in Bangalore was a success. Am surprised. I mean, if we wanted to listen to senile octogenarians singing the same old tunes for decades, we could tune into Pranab’s budget speech instead.

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4 comments

    1. @ Lucas: Danke!

      @V: You were actually expecting something from the interim budget? You must be an ‘optimist’.

      @Prashant: Really? A lot of IIM students want to be investment bankers. Which, as we know, is an euphemism for Satan’s minions.

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  1. I must admit the interim budget took me by surprise. I was expecting a 0.5% cess on Income Tax to provide Haj subsidy to Pak terrorists in India.

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  2. “Advani is getting an IIM student as an intern in his election team. Why not?” and i thought IIM students were intillegent enough not to work for crooks… then again they have worked for Raju and likes in the past.

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