Top Ten List: 26th February, 2009

Am a big fan of the Top Ten List segment in the David Letterman Show. Something along those lines today.

Enough has been written about the negative implications of the Taliban’s deal with the Pakistani government. But what about the people of the valley? How would their lives be affected? Today’s list compiles the top 10 indications for the citizens of SWAT that the Taliban is now in charge of the place.

The entries are in reverse, countdown order. Here goes –

Top 10 signs that the Taliban is in now charge of SWAT valley:

10. Suddenly, all your neighbours are named Maulana something.

9. The leading economic indicator in the province is the Foreigner Exchange Reserve.

8. Bin Laden is a regular guest lecturer at the local madrassa.

7. 9/11 and 26/11 are celebrated as state holidays.

6. The district Qazi consults the Quran to decide if you are allowed to wear pink chaddis.

5. The town’s head count does NOT refer to the town’s population size anymore.

4. AK Antulay’s pic is featured on the local currency notes.

3. The valley’s new tourist brochure starts with ‘SWAT is not a bad place. It’s much safer than Mumbai. Really.’

2. A typical classified ad reads – Radical Islamic hardliner room-mate wanted.

1. A fatwa is declared on AR Rahman for being a Pro-American infidel.