Headlines: Weekly round-up

Here’s how bad the recession has got. India is now outsourcing business to other countries.

Yep. The second season of IPL will be played outside India due to security concerns. I don’t get it. The event is conducted by some of the most-feared terrorists in the word – the BCCI and Lalit Modi. We have their explicit support. They assure us they have no interest in harming the players. What more do we need?

Ironically, more people would have turned up for the IPL games than the voting booths. By that logic, shouldn’t we be holding the elections outside India instead of the IPL? Nobody cares anyway. You know, just have the elections in the UK or America or something. We have enough desis there. Ask Karan Johar.

This will surprise you. Barack Obama has sent out a conciliatory message to the Iranian people through YouTube. How cool is that? He then proceeded to add Ahmedinijad as a friend on Facebook. And reports indicate that Ayatollah Khameni is now following Obama on Twitter.

Has it come to this? The Iranians brushed it off as a joke. Seriously, can we just go back to the days when Obama pledged to talk to the leaders of rogue states with no preconditions? We’ll take that over YouTube diplomacy.

Did you watch Jon Stewart interview Jim Cramer from MSNBC? Jim Cramer was on mea culpa-mode from start to finish. The last time a Wall Street insider got beaten up like that on TV was……actually, it was only two days ago….when Tim Geithner was left with no option but to plead guilty on the AIG bonus fiasco.

Turns out Geither included a clause in the bail-out bill that allowed banks to pay out the bonuses. He figured that the Treasury can always print more money over weekends. AIG wants to pay out 160 million in bonuses? Not a problem. We’ll just print a Trillion dollars in new cash and make up for it.

I wish Obama would spare us the fake “outrage” over the bonuses. I mean, what else do you expect when you hand a bunch of crooks 170 billion dollars with virtually no strings attached? He’s obstinate, aint he? Just won’t give up on that whole no-preconditions policy.

Having said that, you’ve gotto admire the folks at AIG. They took massive risks knowing they wouldn’t be allowed to go under by the Fed. And now, they’ve got hundreds of billions in taxpayer money to pay for their f**ked up bets. When you think about it, they’ve sold the ultimate Credit Default Swap agreement to the American taxpayers without them even realizing it.

What’s more, AIG is now suing the Fed to recover $306 million of taxes it paid in 2008. So the company is suing its biggest shareholder (taxpayers) with taxpayer money to get back some tax dollars, which would be re-distributed to its shareholders (taxpayers) as dividends. Why can’t AIG do us all a favour and not file taxes at all? You know, like Tim Geithner?

The worst part – some AIG executives took these so–called “retention bonuses” and still quit the company. Their contracts allowed them to collect massive bonuses before the crisis in 2008 and even after it. In some ways, I can see why these ass***** are called the best and brightest people in America.

Obama was on the Tonight Show on Thursday. The interview was quite light-hearted, you know…..joke after joke from the President. Like when he told Leno that Tim Geithner was doing an “outstanding job” as the Treasury Secretary. That was my favourite.

He then went to confess that banks were just keeping the bail-out money to maintain certain capital ratios. No wonder the credit markets are still frozen. Not counting all the credit Obama is giving Geithner for doing such a fabulous job, of course.

Some quips dint go down well with the audience though. Like the one where Obama compared his poor bowling score to athletes in the Special Olympics. And given the huge budget deficit, his government’s credit score is worse than his bowling score.

Pope Benedict, travelling in Africa, created a furor by saying that condoms “increase the problem” of AIDS. And with just one statement, he’s moved himself into the list of the top 3 dangers facing humanity. Just behind Dick Cheney and marginally above global warming.

The Pope argues that his statement is backed by solid empirical evidence. He points out that all his bishops in churches worldwide have religiously used condoms will having sex with children and nuns but still got infected with HIV.

 

Advertisements

5 comments

  1. I know the whole bonuses issue is quite ridiculous, but senators asking executives to commit suicide is even worse. I’m starting to feel better about Indian politicians. Looks like they’re just as bad across the world.

    Like

  2. Please tell me you have heard or read about the furor about Varun Gandhi remarks in a political rally! that should give you a lot of fodder for tomorrow’s post! hehehe…

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s