In a rather amazing turn of events, a drunken intern posting Obamacare as a Groupon deal by mistake resulted in a massive surge in sign-ups and the Affordable Care Act meeting its target of 7 million people by March 31.
The intern did make some rather tantalizing offers – ‘Up to 76% off your impending Alzheimer’s diagnosis, 100% off your next Chemo session’ – which were snapped up by eager Americans looking for a bargain.
Political insiders admitted to being utterly confounded that after hundreds of speeches, millions of dollars in marketing and over 2,000 pages of legislation, all it took was an alcohol-induced blunder. ‘If this doesn’t validate Charlie Sheen’s approach to life, I don’t know what does’ conceded a visibly shaken White House adviser David Axelrod. Rubbing more salt into the wounds, the intern loudly speculated that he could have got the same number of sign-ups with ‘a Kickstarter campaign from my garage’.
When he heard about it, an incredulous President Obama raged -‘Wait, so we dint need that damn website after all?!’
Dept. of Health Secretary Kathleen Sebelius was equally at a loss for words. ‘I find it quite amazing……..that I still have my job. I really do,’ she confessed to reporters, who nodded in agreement. She also later admitted to signing up for the Alzheimer’s deal.
The administration is understood to be working on further “out of the box” ideas to get even more people to sign up for health insurance. One of which is to insert the contract into the iTunes end-user agreement when iOS8 is launched.
No GOP representatives were available for comment as they were busy on Capitol Hill trying to repeal Obamacare for the 374th time.