Headlines : 9th December, 2008

Things are looking up already. We may not have to read about the collapsing economy or the financial crisis anymore. Not because things have been fixed. Not at all. Just that daily newspapers across the US are going bankrupt.

The Chicago Tribune and The LA Times are the latest on the brink of bankruptcy. Not looking good. They are now going to sue Al Gore for inventing the internet. Thats where it all started.

Clearly, President Bush doesn’t get the economic crisis. Like today, he was asking Al Gore if the current credit freeze can offset global warming to an extent.

Ram Gopal Verma has lashed back at the media for framing him. He argues that his tour of the devastated Taj was completely misinterpreted. I think we should listen to him. When RGV talks about completely misinterpreting something, he is on solid grounds. Remember what he did to Sholay?

The Sri Lankan government has requested for India’s help to “finish” the LTTE terrorists in the island country. Beyond ironic, right? India has promised to send the best military resources at its disposal to aid Lanka. In other words, we will be loaning out Ajmal Amir Imran for a week.

The baby-faced terrorist, under interrogation, now claims that he was misled by his peers into believing he was doing the right thing when he participated in the terrible massacre of innocent people. Very clever. I believe this is officially known as the “Lehmann Brothers excuse” in Wall Street.

In a Op-Ed piece in the NYT, Pakistan President Asif Ali Zaradari boldly contends that Pakistan is suffering just as much at the hands of terrorists. In fact, he argues the resource drain is much harder on Pakistan since it has to house, feed and train them as well.

Former Pakistani player Javed Miandad reckons that cricket can bridge the widening gap between the two nations. Sure, as soon as we can move past the fact that his daughter is married to Dawood Ibrahim’s son. That’s the tricky part.

Understandably, economic engagements between the neighbors have come to a standstill. “It is a tragedy. We were making progress,” bemoaned Jairam Ramesh, Minister of State for Power and Commerce. At the moment, the two countries are just trading barbs and insults.

A concerned China has urged India and Pakistan to sort out their differences through bilateral talks. In unrelated news, China is now refusing to speak to France because Sarkozy met the Dalai Lama.

Meanwhile, in the Assembly elections, the Congress has done surprisingly well, given its poor handling of the Mumbai attacks. Its almost like the people of India are rewarding incompetence and poor leadership. Or, as they call it in the US, a bail-out.

More on the Detroit automakers’ situation in the next post. Right now, I can confirm that the Big 3, led by GM’s Rick Wagoner are camped outside Washington begging for bail-out money. Its so dire that Wagoner’s secret service code name is ‘Slumdog Millionaire’.